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The trouble with declaring that "oh, hey! I know what I'll do, I'll journal more publicly over on Dreamwidth!" is that it doesn't automatically make it easy to do.
On LJ I tend to post access-restricted entries more out of habit than any real need to limit who has access to that information. Thus, access-restriction has become normal, and posting public entries feels vaguely uncomfortable. It makes me feel far too exposed, and as a result I start over-analysing what I write.
What information is 'safe' to release to the world at large? Whilst it is unlikely that a large number of people will stumble across this journal, public entries still open up that possibility. Will people judge me for what I write? It's entirely possible that they will, and said judgement may not be favourable. However, why should the potential opinions of random internet strangers affect how I behave? Not everyone in this world is going to like me, or even find me tolerable, and so I probably should not obsess over trying to make my internet presence as inoffensive as possible to the greatest number of people.
(I have used words like 'probable' and 'possible' far too often in that last paragraph. I should probably (heh) stand by my convictions more firmly.)
I guess this all brings up the question "why am I trying to convince myself to post public entries if it makes me uneasy?".
Because. Because I have this vague notion that, some how, it'll be good for me. I find it very difficult to open up to people, and there are very few people I trust enough to confide in. I am terribly shy, and unless I know someone very well, I usually find it difficult to know what to say. I hesitate to bring up topics of conversation with casual acquaintances, as I'm not confident about my ability to correctly assess the situation and chose something interesting and appropriate. I'm awful when it comes to small talk.
And so maybe making my musings available to a potentially wider audience will help. I do not expect other people to find my musings interesting, but hopefully it'll at least help me to convince myself that I'm capable of not making a total idiot out of myself at every given opportunity.
On LJ I tend to post access-restricted entries more out of habit than any real need to limit who has access to that information. Thus, access-restriction has become normal, and posting public entries feels vaguely uncomfortable. It makes me feel far too exposed, and as a result I start over-analysing what I write.
What information is 'safe' to release to the world at large? Whilst it is unlikely that a large number of people will stumble across this journal, public entries still open up that possibility. Will people judge me for what I write? It's entirely possible that they will, and said judgement may not be favourable. However, why should the potential opinions of random internet strangers affect how I behave? Not everyone in this world is going to like me, or even find me tolerable, and so I probably should not obsess over trying to make my internet presence as inoffensive as possible to the greatest number of people.
(I have used words like 'probable' and 'possible' far too often in that last paragraph. I should probably (heh) stand by my convictions more firmly.)
I guess this all brings up the question "why am I trying to convince myself to post public entries if it makes me uneasy?".
Because. Because I have this vague notion that, some how, it'll be good for me. I find it very difficult to open up to people, and there are very few people I trust enough to confide in. I am terribly shy, and unless I know someone very well, I usually find it difficult to know what to say. I hesitate to bring up topics of conversation with casual acquaintances, as I'm not confident about my ability to correctly assess the situation and chose something interesting and appropriate. I'm awful when it comes to small talk.
And so maybe making my musings available to a potentially wider audience will help. I do not expect other people to find my musings interesting, but hopefully it'll at least help me to convince myself that I'm capable of not making a total idiot out of myself at every given opportunity.
